F. Scott Hess
I’ve been caught after sundown on the dangerous Zabol-Zahedan smugglers road where Iran, Pakistan, and Afghanistan meet, eaten a small yellow dog in southern China, and lived in an Anarchist-vegetarian-nudist commune in the Midwest. I’ve had coffee with spies and terrorists, lived over the back fence from the Pope, and witnessed the birth of both of my daughters. The engine of the first car I ever owned caught fire in the Yucatan jungle, and I nearly had my neck broken by a Class-B wrestling champ in Athens. I scare belly dancers when I dance and have spent thousands of hours drawing nude women, but strippers intimidate me. My most memorable lunch was with the Austrian President in his Hofburg residence, while my wife’s grandmother gets the breakfast prize for offering me the eyeballs out of a goat-head stew. I’m an idiot at business and finance, but adept at surviving on very little. I get along easily with everyone, but always seem to unintentionally insult people during raucous intellectual debates. There are still large portions of the globe that I’ve not explored, but now that I’m older I think I’d rather just work. I generally just paint what I see when I’m not looking.